Yellow snowcone sales experience record lows

(Plaines, Georgia) With summer heat raging throughout much of the Southern U.S., sales of cold beverages and temperature reducing food items are on the seasonal upswing. But despite higher demand for these products, sales for yellow snowcones are at an all-time low.

"Some people have a psychological problem with eating yellow snow," says Lance Graham, Georgia Chief Commissioner of Health and Safety. "They have memories of their mother yelling at them about not eating it, but they do it anyway, and then they see a dog or something create a new batch of 'sunny delight' and they suddenly realize the folly of their ways. That sort of emotional trauma stays with a person far longer than most people realize."

According to Commissioner Graham, Georgia hasn't seen a severe snow storm in decades, making the hypothetical situation mentioned above next to impossible in most Southern states. However, studies indicate that decedents of Northern way-faring folk seem to have a genetic taste aversion toward yellow snow, but others insist most native Georgians "can imagine what it would be like".

While public criticism for yellow snow appears to be feverish, it hasn't prevented leaders in the Snow Cone industry from attempting to separate reality from what they see as an unfair interpretation of a longtime product.

"What a lot of people think is gross, 'yellow' snow, is actually an amalgamation of flavors ranging from citrus based compounds to the very trendy and hip banana varieties," says Don Vigil of the Snow Cone institute in Flint, Michigan, "We're trying to get the word out about these flavors. This isn't your father's or grandfather's yellow snow!"

So far, the American public isn't buying it. Child vendors everywhere have pulled the colors from their snowcone stands saying the stigma is bad for business.

"People just don't like yellow snow," says Johnny Grath, age 8, "It's gross."