Man dips mexi-fry in catsup, bites, then dips again

Experts agree man was likely unaware of "no double-dip" rule.

(Madison, Wisc.) - What started off as a regular lunchtime meal for one Wisconsin man, ended in a day full of confusion and finger-pointing for patrons of a local Dick's restaurant. Joseph Collab, 32, was taken into managerial custody after nearby customers accused the Madison native of "double-dipping" his "mexi-fry" into a puddle of catsup caked onto his placemat. Collab initially stated that he was unaware of the social norm of dipping a food object only once into a glob of catsup until the entire product has been consumed.

"Joe and I were sharing that puddle of catsup" said Trixie Hendricks, Collab's fiance of 8 years, "So you can imagine how absolutely appalled I was when I saw him place the mexi-fry in for a second time." Hendricks stated that this would not permanently damage their relationship, but said later to a close friend that she had no idea Collab "was into that."

Restaurant management was hesitant to release details surrounding the event, but one women seated nearby said Collab's action had a negative impact on her 6-year-old-son's behavior. "After he (Collab) double-dipped, my son Charlie tried to pull the same stunt at dinner. I am convinced that his (Charlie's) behavior was directly effected by that evil man's (Collab's) negligence."

An official statement from Collab could not be immediately obtained at press time, but sources close to the family say he is seeking professional help for his behavior. He will likely switch his primary condiment selection to hot mustard since doctor's insist it will keep him from wanting to dip more than once.

Americans eat millions of "mexi-fries" each year, which are minced potato bits baked into small cylinders roughly one inch in length. Despite widespread attempts to limit the activity, 74% of Americans admit to "double-dipping" at least once in the last year, a number the American Mexi-Fry Federation says is well above the world average.